he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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