I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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