I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
