What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
