i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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