You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sorry about my life...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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