I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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