pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
