Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Randomize