its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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