If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
