Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
