when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
