You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
