so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize