she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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