He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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