Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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