this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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