come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
