it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
