Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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