If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
