You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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