Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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