i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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