Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if only i could text you this smell
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
