I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
