he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
