Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
