Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

Fav 6 3068 1528
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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

Fav 2 2382 809
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(973): View more from New Jersey

He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

Fav 8 5840 2296
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(707): View more from California

He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

Fav 18 1168 6166
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

Fav 10 3817 1693
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

Fav 3 2530 1180
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(713): View more from Texas

I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

Fav 7 739 1284
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(440): View more from Ohio

She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her

Fav 1 437 783
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(757): View more from Virginia

there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.

Fav 0 57 11
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