I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
