I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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