he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
