dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
