seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
