I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Even my vagina gasped.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my poor anus
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
