He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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