tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
