I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
