all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize