dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
