I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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