Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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