I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
