I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
