Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
