I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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