What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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