Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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