let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so let's talk penis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
