You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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