Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
