i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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