why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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