At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
