i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
