I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
