you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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