I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
