My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
