seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
