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• (845): View more from New York

  I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

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• (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.

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• (619): View more from California

  Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  summertime

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity

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