Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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