i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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