You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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