i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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